Charlie Wear’s Notes

Hi, my name is Charlie, and I am a recovering pharisee. No, I was not a “member of a Jewish sect that flourished during the 1st century b.c. and 1st century a.d. and that differed from the Sadducees chiefly in its strict observance of religious ceremonies and practices, adherence to oral laws and traditions, and belief in an afterlife and the coming of a Messiah.” (Dictionary.com) I am using the other definition of pharisee: “a sanctimonious, self-righteous, or hypocritical person.”

At the ripe old age of 60 I have finally figured out what was and is wrong with me and understand why I have such a hard time with “normal” church. How did I become a pharisee? Was I born that way? Well, in a sense, yes. From the time I was a little baby I was an attender and then a member of a denominational church. Of the many denominations I have been exposed to in my adult life, I can tell you that the denomination of my youth was by far the most legalistic. Our list of do’s and don’t’s was extensive. Membership was exclusive and salvific, and this was just fine with me, what else did I know?

I am sure I heard about Jesus and grace and all of that stuff when I was growing up, but not in any relational sense. This all worked well for me. I was a member, and an active one. Yes, I struggled with managing my “holiness (sin).” That produced the requisite guilt cycle. All was well until my first marriage failed and the church kicked me out. Now, I will have to admit, this wasn’t as bad as being publicly whipped, humiliated, falsely accused, and executed. But it still felt pretty bad. I used to be in, part of the remnant faithful. Now I was out.

If my condition wasn’t so addictive I probably could have recovered pretty easily. But the need to be right and in, may as well have been burned into my DNA and my brain chemistry. I imagine that it is something like the way an alcoholic who is sober feels. He’s not drinking, but the urge burns in his bones.

I was raised that if you love God you will be part of “His” church. Eventually I wasn’t in a church anymore. I wasn’t happy with that condition so I was pleasantly lured back into church when a denominational pastor who preached a more “grace-full” theology started a local church. And this time I was not only in, I was in it up to my eyeballs! Worship leader, church council member and eventually full-time executive pastor were the roles I cycled through in a five year period. Boy, did I enjoy it! Imagine my surprise when a rapid turn of events found me once again on the outside and embarking on a stint as a pastor in another religious movement. This wasn’t quite as bad as the first time I was kicked out of church but it was a bit jarring!

And then I found a group of people, my congregation, with an entirely different set of do’s and don’t’s. I lasted three years at that endeavor and came out the other end this side of a psychiatric unit, but nonetheless scarred. You see, my condition loves being right. It loves being the one with the answers. It loves being the up-front decisive person. It loves being thought of as a righteous person. Of course, there is the downside. I know who I really am and what I am really like inside. Others don’t think I am always right. Frequently there are those that don’t like my answers or decisions. This is always quite disappointing.

It’s been over ten years since that experience. By the way, my second marriage failed and I have married again! during this last ten years I have not been able to “join” another “normal” church. I have been trying hard during this time to figure out what is wrong with me! The way I usually express it is in terms of what is wrong with the churches I don’t want to join. I just figured out this week what the problem is. Recovering alcoholics can’t hang out in bars! Recovering pharisees can’t join a church! It brings out the worst in them.

Don’t get me wrong. This does not mean I am opposed to joining a “normal” church. I think I am just not strong enough yet. In the meantime I remain committed to following Jesus and continue to try to discover what that means. I’ll keep looking for a “recovery” group for folks like me. If you hear of one, let me know.

“I think we underestimate the power and importance of loving one another. Consistent love for other Christians is key to a healthy spiritual life because loving fellowship is God’s prescribed environment for growth. This kind of love is based on commitment to God Himself. To be committed to God is to be committed to His community, the Church. This is not a commitment to the theory of the Church, but to an actual body of other fallible, imperfect people.

Many of us treat church life like immature adolescents. From other Christians we want thrills, constant exhilaration and to have our needs met. When Christian brothers and sisters fall short of our expectations, when they are boring and imperfect and fail to meet our needs for strokes, we pout, turn away and isolate ourselves from them. Jesus calls us to mature commitment of love for His people—the very people in our fellowship.”

—John Wimber, p. 188-119, Everyone Gets to Play, Ampelon Publishing, 2008

When I founded Next-Wave I was a burnt out and discouraged failed pastor. I read Willard’s Divine Conspiracy and wondered if I had ever been a follower of Jesus. I had recently closed a normal church and was involved in the beginnings of a ministry to skateboarders. The name of Next-Wave was inspired by a leadership lecture by John Wimber. John was talking about the life-cycle of movements. He was drawing these wave-like symbols on a whiteboard depicting the rise and then crest of a movement. He was talking about the stages of a birth, life and death of a movement. You know, something like: Man…Movement…Machine…Monument…Memorial.

John’s audience were leaders in the Vineyard movement. John had been working on his leadership transition for a while but thought it was important the leaders of the movement know that, without constant renewal, movements die. Wimber’s encouragement in that message, pointing at the crest of the wave, “When you get here. Take the Best and Go.”

The cover story in this month’s issue of Next-Wave is entitled: The Decline of the Emerging Church (?). In the weeks leading up to its publication there are stirrings that the title of the story might be more than descriptive.

My discouragement 11 years ago was born out of my perceived judgment that the institutional church had failed to bring the message of Jesus to my generation, the baby boomers. I was not only angry, I was sad. I didn’t believe that it was the will of God that so many of his children should never hear about his unfailing love. I blamed the older generation for clinging to their traditions. I blamed them for protecting their institutions. I blamed them for hanging onto positional leadership at the expense of forward momentum.

Don’t get me wrong, I acknowledge that God had birthed a number of movements that did multiply and minister to the baby boomers, the Calvary Chapels and the Vineyards among them. However, to me, it just wasn’t enough. Having experienced the failures of my church fathers, I realized that it was highly likely that MY generation would make the same mistakes. I was pretty convinced that this was happening all around me and that another generation, the people I thought of as Gen-X, were missing out on the life that following Jesus promises.

When I approached future church planter, Rogier Bos, about starting Next-Wave I wanted an “e-zine” that would speak to these issues. About six months into the project Next-Wave launched in January 1999 and it was full of articles about postmodernism. I hadn’t even heard of postmodernism! The words “emerging” and “church” had not yet been juxtaposed. Emergent had not been founded. That came later along with terms like ancient-future worship, neo-monastic communities, transformational, incarnational and missional.

I had been discouraged because I thought that nobody was doing anything to reach the rising generations based on my observation of the movement I was involved in and the readily observable institutional and mainline denominations. Imagine my surprise a few months after the birth of Next-Wave to discover that God’s Spirit was at work all over the world birthing new expressions of his kingdom! Along came Emergent and their cohorts, Acts 29 was planting churches to beat the band, Mosaic pastor Erin McManus was energizinging artistic expression, McLaren’s writings and others like Neil Cole were organically going about the business of doing what has always been done by those who are inspired by the Holy Spirit, they were following Jesus and building his church.

One of my favorite writers in this realm has been Andrew Jones, a practicing missionary who has traveled the world with his family encouraging and nurturing what God is doing. There has been some controversy in the past few weeks as Andrew wrote an article entitled: Emerging Church Movement (1989-2009)?

This prompted a response by Tony Jones: Lonnie Frisbee and the Non-Demise of the Emerging Church. I’ll have to admit that I was really irritated by Tony’s treatment of Lonnie Frisbee, the Calvary Chapels and the Vineyard based on the documentary film. I knew Lonnie Frisbee in the last years of his life. I knew him to be a follower of Christ. One in a long line of wounded people who have been mightily used by God. Jones’ application of Weber’s conclusion is in its best light, misplaced. Lonnie was not the leader of either the Calvary Chapel or the Vineyards. He was a catalyst, to be sure.

I think a fairer observation would be an application of Weber’s conclusion to the current transition taking place in the leadership of Emergent. A group that first appoints a National Coordinator and then dissolves that office in a matter of years is more than likely experiencing a transition of leadership.

Next-Wave has always endeavored to be inclusive of viewpoints. It has been our intent to be a reflection of what God is doing to bring his good news to those who have not yet heard it outside of the efforts of the established and institutional church. Over the years we have included articles about all of the flavors of the banquet that God has been preparing. It is interesting that so many cling to terms and language and work so hard to revise our language as a means to changing our thinking.

As for myself, I thought of Next-Wave as the “journal of the emerging church” for a number of years. (At least since “Emerging Church” became a term of widespread use.) I still think it is a useful term if it is not identified with a particular theological mindset. Emerging simply means that which is coming into existence. Unfortunately, “emerging church” now has its own set of Samsonite luggage to carry, much like evangelical church, the fundamental church, the pentecostal church and the charismatics.

Here is my prayer for the second decade of Next-Wave: “Father, may we be faithful to your call on our lives, to love you will all of our hearts and to love others and one another, as we love ourselves. Out of that love, Father, I pray that we may be winsome messengers of the good news of your grace and mercy for humanity. Empower us with your spirit, in the name of your son, Jesus, let it be.”

It is probably inevitable that leaders who are following Jesus and encouraging others to do the same would eventually start thinking and talking about becoming missional. I mean, after all, Jesus is/was the ultimate master of the missional.

At the beginning of the classic movie, The Blues Brothers, Belushi and Ackroyd have an epiphany in a church where they receive a “mission from God.” Music ensues, cartwheels abound, and the brothers are off on a “Mission from God.” It would be easier for those of us who are following Jesus in today’s culture if we could have a similar experience. There’s nothing like an angelic visitation or perpetually combusting shrubbery to cause one to become focused on what God wants us to do.

The “m” word now has pretty successfully replaced the “e” word. Instead of talking about evangelism and discipleship being the two wings on the airplane of church, if they are not in balance then the journey cannot be successfully completed, the analogy for 2010 is the bicycle. One wheel is missional and the other is incarnational. We must “be” and “do,” without colonial impulse, but with the right “posture.”

Years ago I was involved in a kind of ad hoc ministry to skateboarders. The few of us were ministering to the needs of the many skateboarders. I wish now that I knew then what I “know” now. I fantasize that we could have altered our methods to have more lasting fruit. But we didn’t have time to think about such things.

In February I am attending Verge, a missional conference, in Austin, Texas from February 4-7, 2010. I hope to be inspired. I hope to be encouraged, I hope to meet some great new “co-missional” friends. I hope to see some of you there!