Charlie Wear’s Notes

It’s over ten years ago now that I accidentally became the pastor of a church. Nearly the month I took over the area overseer in our network of churches resigned. It was only a few months after that, it seems, that someone decided that I should be the "acting" area pastoral coordinator. First I was an accidental pastor, now an accidental overseer, "Yikes!"

Over the years I have read a lot of books about leadership and management. I have heard experts expound on "positional authority" and "relational authority." I am not sure where I first heard the adage that all good working relationships are based on trust, and that trust is composed of many relational interactions over time. Leadership gurus talk about a "relational bank account" where one makes "deposits."

Now here’s the thing, you don’t get very far faking relationships. It’s kind of like depositing counterfeit money in a bank account. That might work for a while but eventually someone is going to find out and the jig will be up.

So, I find myself in a kind of "denominational" planning meeting. Somehow it comes up, well if we have trouble with a church, we can just "kick them out" of our network. I guess, because I am a lawyer, I pointed out that there was no legal basis for "kicking anyone out" of the network, since they were all independent churches. In other words, there was no legal authority for such an action. One of the other "leaders" in the meeting said, "Well, we’ll just use our Spiritual authority."

Well, I thought then, and I think I even voiced my opinion in the meeting, uh, "What Spiritual Authority?" The only authority we have is based on relationship and trust, if it is to have any meaning at all. The exercise of any kind of authority that exceeds the relational authority between people is abuse. It is the source of much Hoodabada™ in all kinds of organizations. The real source of all of it is the unwillingness of leaders to take the time to know those who they work with. If you say, "There is no way that I can know all of the people who I work with," then my answer is, "You are working with way too many people." Jesus called twelve, and was very close to three. Think about that carefully the next time you are addressing your 75 person "staff," or your 30 person "leadership community." Have you really taken the time to know the people you are talking to?

I am in the midst of an intensive research and development project on a Hoodabada™ Detector. It seems like it wouldn’t be difficult. Sort of a cross between a lie detector and a spy microphone. All of the data could be uplinked via laser-empowered satellite signals to a central server where it would be analyzed and then interpreted with the answers being downloaded before the pastor’s next appointment.

For those of you who don’t know, don’t remember, or were trying to forget, Hoodabada™ is the word I have made up to describe the stuff that goes on between staff pastors and the senior pastor in "normal" churches. We all know that the emerging churches operate in such a state of pristine authenticity and transparency that no Hoodabada™ can exist. And there are very few multi-staff emerging churches as well.

The other form of Hoodabada™ found in the local church is that which goes on between parishoners and pastoral staff. This usually comes up when someone wants to complain about something and the conversation eventually gets to the point where someone says "Yo mama!"

A prime example happened to me while I was accidentally pastoring. We had a group of people who considered themselves excellent practitioners of prayer. From time to time they would tell me that they wanted to see us pray more in our Sunday gatherings. Heeding their suggestion I spent a month emphasizing prayer and concluded in a "concert of prayer" type service.

When the service had concluded the "number 1" prayer came up to tell me, "That was a nice try! It’s a shame you really don’t understand how to pray!"

I didn’t need a Hoodabada™ detector that day. The place was reeking with it! Anyway, I am working on a prototype.

Most leaders don’t realize that they are an 800 lb. gorilla. They think that they are normal human beings. They can say and do what they feel like saying or doing. Followers look at leaders in a different light. They put them on a pedestal, high above the rest of mortal men.

For that reason, the closer we get to our leaders, the more we see them, warts and all, the more disappointed we become. When they hit their thumb with a hammer and let fly with a plethora of adults-only language, we are disappointed that they are unable to control their tempers.

When they don’t notice all of the effort we are putting in to make them successful, we feel demoralized and unappreciated. When they reach down to scratch their toe, dozens of us begin to start task force size teams designed to eliminate itchy toes. The poor gorilla doesn’t know what he is doing to his followers. He can’t help the anointing, the mantle. He also can’t help that he is a human being.

Someday I will find a leader who understands my unique gifts and calling and will give me permission to be all that I am called to be. No itching toes, or lack of appreciation and therefore no hoodabada flowing from my lips!

I love the word Hoodbada!™ I think I love it because I made it up! Hence the trademark, I plan to use it in a book title in the near future and to spawn an entire curriculum of materials from it. I usually use the word when I can’t remember the "right" word in a situation. For example: "Go down past the McDonald’s on the left until you get to the hoodabada, then turn right and head to Orlando." My wife almost always knows what I mean.A few years ago I got tired of the wrangling about what to call this thing that God is doing, and said we should call it Hoodabada™ until it all gets sorted out.

Today, I am using the word about some stuff that goes on among "Christians" that is just so non-Christlike that I can’t think of the right word to describe it.

Here’s an example: Go to a "normal" church (that is not, missional community, transformational, neo-monastic, new-kind-of-Christianistic, you get the idea, no goatees or berets involved) and spend a day with the Senior Pastor. It won’t be long before the ministry disappointments begin to pour out. At the top of the list will be the many ways in which staff or associates have "missed the mark."

Likewise, spend the same day with staff or associates at the same church and you will wonder why the pastor doesn’t have a long tail and carry a pitchfork in a maroon embossed leather case with monogrammed initials! What a bunch of hoodabada!

What ever happened to Matt. 18? Oh yeah, that’s right, we never do that. When we feel sinned against, we just suck our thumbs, gaze at our navels and go find the nearest sympathetic ear to commiserate with. Sometimes it is even Joe, the bartender who sees us drowning our woes! Once again, I say, hoodabada!

Here’s an idea: Why don’t we try it the Jesus way? Go to your brother or sister and tell them how they have harmed you. Give them a chance to repent! Hey, if they ignore you, take a friend! If that doesn’t work, then make it an issue with the community of peers…

In an era of allegedly desired authenticity and transparency it might be a good thing to get the hoodabada out of church-staff relations.