Charlie Wear’s Notes

From the Merriam-Webster online Dictionary: an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions.

I have come to a moment of self-realization this past week. I don’t like to be employed by other people, especially when I am working in a subordinate role where those I am working for don’t know what I know or what I can do for the enterprise.

Frequently, in these situations I am accused of being arrogant. This comes up fairly often in my interactions with others. I realized this past week that I have been in the subordinate role since November 1995 when I agreed to accept the interim pastorate of a church in Southern California. In that role, even though you may not be collecting a salary, everyone who attends the church thinks they are "the boss of you."

You can see how this would give a person with my makeup a hard time. This is why I have pretty much vowed to never have the word pastor connected with my name again. I was starting to make that mistake as I labored in Florida, but now I am truly committed. I may be a senior. I may "pastor" someone by accident from time to time. But I will never let anyone call me a "senior pastor" again.

Leader, consultant, the guy who does that thing, these roles all suit me better. In my tent-making trade I am a laywer. Let me ask you: Do you want lawyers who are inferior, subordinate and do not claim to know the law and how it applies to your situation? Do you see what I am driving at here? Don’t we want our lawyers arrogant? Especially if they are championing our cause? In the church however, we seem to adopt some kind of group-think where everyone in the room has a bright idea and no idea is better than another. Can that really be true? And if so, how are we going to accomplish all of those ideas and plans?

I love starting new enterprises. There is just nothing better. Right now I am immersed in starting a new law practice in Redlands, California. It is incredibly stimulating. Once the start-up becomes maintenance I am much less excited. The answer for me is to always be starting!

Jordon Cooper has some great reflections on Organic Community by Joe Myers. Jordon is a practitioner who understand very well the implications of what he is writing about.

It’s over ten years ago now that I accidentally became the pastor of a church. Nearly the month I took over the area overseer in our network of churches resigned. It was only a few months after that, it seems, that someone decided that I should be the "acting" area pastoral coordinator. First I was an accidental pastor, now an accidental overseer, "Yikes!"

Over the years I have read a lot of books about leadership and management. I have heard experts expound on "positional authority" and "relational authority." I am not sure where I first heard the adage that all good working relationships are based on trust, and that trust is composed of many relational interactions over time. Leadership gurus talk about a "relational bank account" where one makes "deposits."

Now here’s the thing, you don’t get very far faking relationships. It’s kind of like depositing counterfeit money in a bank account. That might work for a while but eventually someone is going to find out and the jig will be up.

So, I find myself in a kind of "denominational" planning meeting. Somehow it comes up, well if we have trouble with a church, we can just "kick them out" of our network. I guess, because I am a lawyer, I pointed out that there was no legal basis for "kicking anyone out" of the network, since they were all independent churches. In other words, there was no legal authority for such an action. One of the other "leaders" in the meeting said, "Well, we’ll just use our Spiritual authority."

Well, I thought then, and I think I even voiced my opinion in the meeting, uh, "What Spiritual Authority?" The only authority we have is based on relationship and trust, if it is to have any meaning at all. The exercise of any kind of authority that exceeds the relational authority between people is abuse. It is the source of much Hoodabada™ in all kinds of organizations. The real source of all of it is the unwillingness of leaders to take the time to know those who they work with. If you say, "There is no way that I can know all of the people who I work with," then my answer is, "You are working with way too many people." Jesus called twelve, and was very close to three. Think about that carefully the next time you are addressing your 75 person "staff," or your 30 person "leadership community." Have you really taken the time to know the people you are talking to?

Have you ever heard of the DISC inventory? Well, if you haven’t, it is one of the ways that people who make a living categorizing personalities, leadership styles, and so forth, figure out how people operate. Surprise, surprise, when I first did this assessment several years ago (circa 1993) it turned out I was High D. I only become a High I when there is opposition to my leadership. In other words, if we are working together, as long as you follow orders, I am a very happy camper. This is probably why I have never worked very well in "teams." In fact, I think true teamwork is pretty rare. Almost as rare as unity. Here is a truism I have seen in action. Whenever the pastor starts preaching on unity, one can be sure that a church split, or at least an exodus, of some sort is just around the corner.

Why is this, do you suppose? Well, for one thing, we are all different. No matter how much we try to categorize, describe or make sense of different types of people, we will remain somewhat unique. Maybe not as unique as a grain of sand, or a snowflake, but nevertheless, unique. Now, here is the kicker. No matter how unique each of us is, we tend to think that other people will think, feel, believe and act like us. In my little world, Charlieland, I call this Charlie-pomorphism. It is usually a huge awakening for me, and I have to admit, usually a disappointment, when I find out that others are not like me, they don’t believe exactly as I do, and their idea of unity and teamwork is not exactly the same as my idea. Because you see, in many ways I like every idea I come up with, every thing I think I ought to do, and when I don’t feel like doing anything, I am sure that is the perfect thing.

So what is a High D to do, and for that matter a self-centered and self-absorbed one like me? People just won’t do what I want them to when I want them to do it. They don’t always think that every idea I have is brilliant! Sometimes, if I am "teaching" a group, they fall asleep! Oh, boy! Isn’t that rude?

I’d like to think that maybe I can learn something from the parts of my life that are frustrating, those parts when I interact with people who haven’t done what I thought they should do. Gee, if I had any empathy, I might understand that is the exact way they feel about me!
Yikes!

I wonder if eric keck knows how good this is:

our society needs rock stars,
we need new bands, we need new doctors, lawyers, builders, buyers, ceo’s and entrepreneurs… because as society thats what we need

somebody is going to win the race,
somebody is going to make the next Million
somebody is going to be the next brownhouse
somebody is going to change the world
there will be a next president
somebody will be the highscorer
somebody will make varsity
somebody will open a cool coffee shop
somebody will write a book
somebody will plant a church
somebody will represent a social cause in a radical way
somebody will transform a town one house at a time

might as well be …. (who?)

somebody needs to be the next rockstar…

Knowing what God has called you to do is very important. The strength of conviction of a Moses, who heard God from a burning bush, or a Peter, who had the son of God give him his marching orders is unparalleled by those who have arrived at their calling by other means.

My friend, Steve Sjogren, talks about being a turtle versus a rabbit. He refers to the reduced schedule he follows after his medical accident of nearly ten years ago left him with less than 50% of the energy he used to have. And guess what, God told him to be a turtle! That makes it easier, don’t you think.

This line of thought caused me to think about the tyranny of multiple choices. If you have a modicum of ability, there are many good things you can do, and lots of pressure to pursue those things. An idea pops into your head, you get an invitation to speak, or to travel somewhere, and off you go pursuing the latest and greatest thing. I think some of these really good things might be "rabbit trails." Clearly, rabbit trails have been well-traveled, but usually they are not going anywhere much.

This is the way I envision the classic race between the turtle and the hare. The hare, although speedy, lacked the unique focus of the turtle. These days I have lots of avenues to pursue, lots of rabbit trails to explore. However, when I think of the specific orders from headquarters these days, my path seems a little more clear and I can make better choices on the "best" way to spend my time and energy.

My encouragement to you: Get a calling from God, your unique calling, and then stick with it with a single-minded focus. This is the path to great fruitfulness.

I love the word Hoodbada!™ I think I love it because I made it up! Hence the trademark, I plan to use it in a book title in the near future and to spawn an entire curriculum of materials from it. I usually use the word when I can’t remember the "right" word in a situation. For example: "Go down past the McDonald’s on the left until you get to the hoodabada, then turn right and head to Orlando." My wife almost always knows what I mean.

A few years ago I got tired of the wrangling about what to call this thing that God is doing, and said we should call it Hoodabada™ until it all gets sorted out.

Today, I am using the word about some stuff that goes on among "Christians" that is just so non-Christlike that I can’t think of the right word to describe it.

Here’s an example: Go to a "normal" church (that is not, missional community, transformational, neo-monastic, new-kind-of-Christianistic, you get the idea, no goatees or berets involved) and spend a day with the Senior Pastor. It won’t be long before the ministry disappointments begin to pour out. At the top of the list will be the many ways in which staff or associates have "missed the mark."

Likewise, spend the same day with staff or associates at the same church and you will wonder why the pastor doesn’t have a long tail and carry a pitchfork in a maroon embossed leather case with monogrammed initials! What a bunch of hoodabada!

What ever happened to Matt. 18? Oh yeah, that’s right, we never do that. When we feel sinned against, we just suck our thumbs, gaze at our navels and go find the nearest sympathetic ear to commiserate with. Sometimes it is even Joe, the bartender who sees us drowning our woes! Once again, I say, hoodabada!

Here’s an idea: Why don’t we try it the Jesus way? Go to your brother or sister and tell them how they have harmed you. Give them a chance to repent! Hey, if they ignore you, take a friend! If that doesn’t work, then make it an issue with the community of peers…

In an era of allegedly desired authenticity and transparency it might be a good thing to get the hoodabada out of church-staff relations.

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A video with Steve Sjogren.

So last night Michelle resigned from The Apprentice.

I wish she had been a little more blunt with "The Donald." I would have liked it if she had said: "Hey, I am not going to sleep outside in a tent for any job."

Of course, anyone with an ounce of sense knew that she was going to be fired. She probably messed up their production. The payoff scene in every episode is in the "Boardroom."

In reaction to Michelle’s move Trump began a nearly Churchillian speech about the virtues of never giving up. He cautioned Michelle that she would be a "quitter," a "loser," and that it would mar her psyche. In my opinion,

Trump was dead wrong. Sometimes we need to give up. Don’t get me wrong. If God has given us a clear assignment and we are following a divine prescription, then I think we should persevere until the end! But so much of what is done in church life does not meet that standard. And clearly there are many times when we just don’t know when to quit. If something is not working, is making us miserable, and the entire church miserable, then perhaps it is wisdom to fold up our tents and try something else.

Michelle had made a good assessment. She knew she wasn’t project manager material. She flopped in her first project. She didn’t want to live in a tent. It wasn’t what she signed up for. She pulled the plug. I think she showed wisdom. What do you think?