Charlie Wear’s Notes

There was a period in the 90s when I was a John Maxwell acolyte. "Leadership is influence," is Maxwell’s famous quote. I also used to love to hear John Wimber talk about leadership. To paraphrase, he would say, "Look behind you, if there is no one there, then you are not the leader." Maxwell used the metaphor of a "leadership account." I have seen the famous leadership account in action plenty of times, and let me assure you, it is easy to make withdrawals and not so easy to make deposits. Deposits take trustworthy interactions over a long period of time, but one false move and the account can be drained overnight.

In a recent article, my friend Steve Sjogren said:

"No emotionally healthy person can work in any sort of ongoing way with someone who doesn’t respect them.  None of us are stupid.  We can all pick up on clear signals that we are not held in high esteem. Every member of your team is not only due respect.  They are each a gift from God himself.  Celebrate the gift they bring.  Let them shine where they are strong – and they probably will!  Do what it takes to deal with conflict.  See a therapist – whatever.  Great churches have long term employees that become like family over the long haul."

Disrespect, or negative interactions are like a broken sprinkler pipe leaking water. It is only a matter of time before erosion occurs. If the water runs long enough it can cause some severe damage.

This is really a simple equation. Once you begin to disrespect the leader, then, if you have integrity, you must leave. On the other hand, once a leader begins to disrespect a follower, then they must help the person leave. But as the 50s song goes, leaving, or  "breaking up is hard to do."

Leaders of all types need to be careful in the days ahead. The fall of Richard Roberts and accusations being leveled at megachurch pastors for overspending and lavish lifestyles are just the tip of the iceberg. The media likes nothing better than to make Christians look bad. Don’t be surprised if Rick Warren and Joel Osteen are the targets of multi-day investigative reporting into their finances.

Anything that will make Christ-followers look bad is fair game. Lesson to be learned here? The next time you fly first class or step into a chartered airplane, realize that the cost of such "luxury" items will eventually come under close scrutiny.

From the Merriam-Webster online Dictionary: an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions.

I have come to a moment of self-realization this past week. I don’t like to be employed by other people, especially when I am working in a subordinate role where those I am working for don’t know what I know or what I can do for the enterprise.

Frequently, in these situations I am accused of being arrogant. This comes up fairly often in my interactions with others. I realized this past week that I have been in the subordinate role since November 1995 when I agreed to accept the interim pastorate of a church in Southern California. In that role, even though you may not be collecting a salary, everyone who attends the church thinks they are "the boss of you."

You can see how this would give a person with my makeup a hard time. This is why I have pretty much vowed to never have the word pastor connected with my name again. I was starting to make that mistake as I labored in Florida, but now I am truly committed. I may be a senior. I may "pastor" someone by accident from time to time. But I will never let anyone call me a "senior pastor" again.

Leader, consultant, the guy who does that thing, these roles all suit me better. In my tent-making trade I am a laywer. Let me ask you: Do you want lawyers who are inferior, subordinate and do not claim to know the law and how it applies to your situation? Do you see what I am driving at here? Don’t we want our lawyers arrogant? Especially if they are championing our cause? In the church however, we seem to adopt some kind of group-think where everyone in the room has a bright idea and no idea is better than another. Can that really be true? And if so, how are we going to accomplish all of those ideas and plans?

Jordon Cooper has some great reflections on Organic Community by Joe Myers. Jordon is a practitioner who understand very well the implications of what he is writing about.

Have you ever heard of the DISC inventory? Well, if you haven’t, it is one of the ways that people who make a living categorizing personalities, leadership styles, and so forth, figure out how people operate. Surprise, surprise, when I first did this assessment several years ago (circa 1993) it turned out I was High D. I only become a High I when there is opposition to my leadership. In other words, if we are working together, as long as you follow orders, I am a very happy camper. This is probably why I have never worked very well in "teams." In fact, I think true teamwork is pretty rare. Almost as rare as unity. Here is a truism I have seen in action. Whenever the pastor starts preaching on unity, one can be sure that a church split, or at least an exodus, of some sort is just around the corner.

Why is this, do you suppose? Well, for one thing, we are all different. No matter how much we try to categorize, describe or make sense of different types of people, we will remain somewhat unique. Maybe not as unique as a grain of sand, or a snowflake, but nevertheless, unique. Now, here is the kicker. No matter how unique each of us is, we tend to think that other people will think, feel, believe and act like us. In my little world, Charlieland, I call this Charlie-pomorphism. It is usually a huge awakening for me, and I have to admit, usually a disappointment, when I find out that others are not like me, they don’t believe exactly as I do, and their idea of unity and teamwork is not exactly the same as my idea. Because you see, in many ways I like every idea I come up with, every thing I think I ought to do, and when I don’t feel like doing anything, I am sure that is the perfect thing.

So what is a High D to do, and for that matter a self-centered and self-absorbed one like me? People just won’t do what I want them to when I want them to do it. They don’t always think that every idea I have is brilliant! Sometimes, if I am "teaching" a group, they fall asleep! Oh, boy! Isn’t that rude?

I’d like to think that maybe I can learn something from the parts of my life that are frustrating, those parts when I interact with people who haven’t done what I thought they should do. Gee, if I had any empathy, I might understand that is the exact way they feel about me!
Yikes!

Knowing what God has called you to do is very important. The strength of conviction of a Moses, who heard God from a burning bush, or a Peter, who had the son of God give him his marching orders is unparalleled by those who have arrived at their calling by other means.

My friend, Steve Sjogren, talks about being a turtle versus a rabbit. He refers to the reduced schedule he follows after his medical accident of nearly ten years ago left him with less than 50% of the energy he used to have. And guess what, God told him to be a turtle! That makes it easier, don’t you think.

This line of thought caused me to think about the tyranny of multiple choices. If you have a modicum of ability, there are many good things you can do, and lots of pressure to pursue those things. An idea pops into your head, you get an invitation to speak, or to travel somewhere, and off you go pursuing the latest and greatest thing. I think some of these really good things might be "rabbit trails." Clearly, rabbit trails have been well-traveled, but usually they are not going anywhere much.

This is the way I envision the classic race between the turtle and the hare. The hare, although speedy, lacked the unique focus of the turtle. These days I have lots of avenues to pursue, lots of rabbit trails to explore. However, when I think of the specific orders from headquarters these days, my path seems a little more clear and I can make better choices on the "best" way to spend my time and energy.

My encouragement to you: Get a calling from God, your unique calling, and then stick with it with a single-minded focus. This is the path to great fruitfulness.

I love the word Hoodbada!™ I think I love it because I made it up! Hence the trademark, I plan to use it in a book title in the near future and to spawn an entire curriculum of materials from it. I usually use the word when I can’t remember the "right" word in a situation. For example: "Go down past the McDonald’s on the left until you get to the hoodabada, then turn right and head to Orlando." My wife almost always knows what I mean.

A few years ago I got tired of the wrangling about what to call this thing that God is doing, and said we should call it Hoodabada™ until it all gets sorted out.

Today, I am using the word about some stuff that goes on among "Christians" that is just so non-Christlike that I can’t think of the right word to describe it.

Here’s an example: Go to a "normal" church (that is not, missional community, transformational, neo-monastic, new-kind-of-Christianistic, you get the idea, no goatees or berets involved) and spend a day with the Senior Pastor. It won’t be long before the ministry disappointments begin to pour out. At the top of the list will be the many ways in which staff or associates have "missed the mark."

Likewise, spend the same day with staff or associates at the same church and you will wonder why the pastor doesn’t have a long tail and carry a pitchfork in a maroon embossed leather case with monogrammed initials! What a bunch of hoodabada!

What ever happened to Matt. 18? Oh yeah, that’s right, we never do that. When we feel sinned against, we just suck our thumbs, gaze at our navels and go find the nearest sympathetic ear to commiserate with. Sometimes it is even Joe, the bartender who sees us drowning our woes! Once again, I say, hoodabada!

Here’s an idea: Why don’t we try it the Jesus way? Go to your brother or sister and tell them how they have harmed you. Give them a chance to repent! Hey, if they ignore you, take a friend! If that doesn’t work, then make it an issue with the community of peers…

In an era of allegedly desired authenticity and transparency it might be a good thing to get the hoodabada out of church-staff relations.