Charlie Wear’s Notes

I think I learned this in Physics class a long time ago, “For every action there is a reaction.” I think a corollary statement might be, “For every choice, there is a consequence.” I was thinking about this as I was waiting to get sleepy in the wee early morning hours.

I’m not a big sleeper under any circumstances. It seems that with five or six hours of sleep I will be awake and ready to start another day of “fun and frivolity.” Sometimes my sleep gets disturbed with concern about a project or appointment that I have on the agenda for the next day. I suppose some might say I have sleep “issues.” However, I don’t see them as a problem, unless I miss an entire night of sleep or only get a couple of hours of sleep. Then I know that the next day is going to be tough and that I will be needing a place to curl up for a nap in the afternoon or early evening.

So, why was I up watching Law and Order Los Angeles at 2 in the morning, you ask? As I was beginning to nod off in the first segment it dawned on me that I had a cup of coffee at St. Arbucks around 5 p.m. yesterday. And I had it with an extra shot of espresso. I didn’t think about it at all at the time, you know, that I was going to drug myself and be up half the night. I just ordered a familiar drink and enjoyed it along with some of my son’s leftover bagel.

When it dawned on me that I had taken an anti-sleeping pill and was living with the consequences I quieted the annoying complaint that was going on in my mind about my inability to fall asleep. I mean what do I expect? The drink I ordered has a nickname among Starbucks associates, “The Red Eye.” If I had thought it through a little more I might have stuck with lemonade!

It’s a simple example, but a true one: Our choices have consequences. And our lives are an accumulation of those choices and their consequences. A natural human tendency is to judge the consequences, but not the choices, unless we are in a particularly introspective or therapeutic mode. My advice: Give up judging. It only leads to self-loathing or worse, to loud complaining about how difficult life is. Let’s just recognize the facts: Life is! Why complain about it?

I met a man yesterday who is now a client. He is 88. He is a World War II veteran. He was married to his wife for 63 years before she died. He worked for a major company doing something he greatly enjoyed through his retirement. He had a strong faith and had been kind and helpful to others. He wanted to make some changes in his financial instructions in the event of his death. He’s thinking quite a bit about it because he has been in the emergency room three times in the last three weeks. He was smiling! A lot! He seemed satisfied and content with the life he had led. He did not want to change anything about it even though he did want to change his after-death arrangements he didn’t seem unhappy about it.

This man is part of generation that is passing from the scene. They fought. They lived and loved and raised their families. They worked in stable jobs for stable companies. Divorce and broken families was not the normal occurrence. Layoffs and downsizing and restructuring did not occupy their thoughts. They had been raised as children of the depression and had great appreciation for hardship and hard work. What a legacy!

I appreciated this man for his lack of complaints and the absence of regret from his conversation. He signed my retainer check with his own hand and with sound mind. And so I resolve that today, running on only four or five hours of sleep that I will attempt to restrain my complaints and approach the day with “joy” in my heart and no regrets. By the way, note to self: “No Red-Eyes after noon, Charlie.”

I have been slogging through a few rough weeks. My wife’s dad died, and he was pretty sick leading up to his passing. Then a quick trip to Tucson for his memorial service. The following week I was pretty sick for a couple of days (in the bed all day sick!). This has left me about three to four weeks behind on my work with deadlines crashing upon deadlines. Makes me want to go on vacation!

The answer? Just keep on keeping on. Get up. Get dressed. Go to work. Do the best I can. Why not? There are alternatives but this is the one I have chosen I may as well enjoy it!

I just got back from a quick trip to Boise, Idaho. I have been working with a minister there on his blog site for a few years. He wanted to expand his communication outreach and the best way to handle it was for me to spend a pretty solid day working on his stuff with him. The church he pastors is coming alive and doing some great stuff in the area.

Next week they are doing three events to spread some Love to the city, a party downtown with music and food, visits to the elderly, and care for families who have ended up without a permanent address. it’s all good stuff and you can see God moving through this “normal” church. Now it’s a busy three days and then I am heading to Nashville for a few days.

I published my first Kindle edition this week. I was inspired by doing some Matthew 25 work in Santa Maria a couple of Sundays ago. We were feeding the hungry, clothing the naked and providing shelter for those who otherwise would not have had a roof over their heads. I wrote about that experience and then compiled the rest of what I have written over the last 10 years or so about reaching out and being the “church in service.”

The name of the book is No One Turns Down the Blessing [simple church planting] by Charlie Wear. You can find it in the Kindle Store by searching “Charlie Wear.” I hope you enjoy reading it!

Getting Going!

I was very blessed to have Kagelo Henry Rakwena cross my path in the last few months. Readers who have followed my blog and read the posts that have been repeated on Facebook and Twitter will know that I have been in the midst of an emotional and existential crisis since December of last year.

Part of my process of healing was a brief stint in therapy with Henry. Our time was brief because, at least it seemed to me, God was in a hurry to move me on to the next step in my journey.

My crisis was prompted when I got in touch with the deep well of rage in my should surrounding events in my childhood. My mother was mentally ill and made multiple attempts at suicide. This experience left me stunted and scarred with an ability to deal appropriately with several very important aspects of life. I hadn’t realized the depth of my difficulty until last Mother’s day when a friend and I began to speak about our mothers.

We were on our way to Mother’s day brunch, abut 15 minutes away from the restaurant. The women were in another car and my friend and I were talking. I was surprised to feel the depth of the pain in my soul that a brief discussion of my mother was plumbing. I told my friend, “We are going to have to change the subject, I don’t have time to deal with this right now.

And so it was a night in early December that I awoke in the middle of the night and felt the nudge of God saying, “It’s time.”

As the days moved on it began to be difficult to cope with acts of daily living. Sleep was a near impossibility. This is what brought me to Henry. After a few weeks and about 8 sessions our time was drawing to an end and Henry gave me a copy of the book he’s written, “When the going gets tough, only the tough gets going.”

Quoting from page 43 of his book, Henry says:
God’s purposes are never delayed, hurried, stopped or jeopardized by the plots of our enemies. Tough He may permit some negative events in our lives, He is still in control; His purposes for our lives will still come to pass, and He will prevail in bringing us up over whatever the enemy uses to bring us down. His word is true, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). God will therefore, use the negatives and positives, the good and the bad that might come our way, as platforms on which to display his glory.